asoncalledgabriel | If you only knew the bad things I like

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neil perry

If you only knew the bad things I like

It was the strangest thing to arrange a double date, but it also felt... blessedly normal somehow. Or like a lie. Gabriel wasn't sure anymore, but he didn't know how to be any other way. So when Neil asked if he'd join him and a girl - Patricia - for a night he'd found someone. A nice enough girl, Sarah, pretty in the way Fiona had been pretty, and met Neil and his girl for a movie and then dinner.

It felt easy enough - the movie had been good and the four of them had plenty to discuss afterward over a meal at a diner. Gabe teased Neil, asking if the place seemed familiar. It looked like the sort of place out of Happy Days or some other American sitcom set in the 1950s.

Afterward, they made sure their girls got home alright, and it was just the two of them again.

Gabriel spun out of the doorway of Sarah's building and leaned his back into the brick wall, grinning over at Neil. "Are you gonna call it a night now?"

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Gabriel looks over at Neil with a little grin. "Yeah," he says after a moment. "Yeah, alright." He has plenty of the makings for it as his apartment, too, but Neil's already offered and Gabriel can't bring himself to decline.

It's easy to smile around Gabriel, it's easy to let a gentle quiet fall over them, and it's easy to steer them toward his apartment building. But the quiet doesn't last. Neil finds himself humming some of the music he's been listening to, and then he's telling Gabriel about musicians he's found that he likes.

"We'll have to put a record on," he says as they reach his building. "I'll play my favorites for you."

"Have you got favorites now?" Gabriel grins; he wonders if Neil listens to music as often as he does, if he plays things over and over again until they're in his bones.

And he listens to Neil talk about them, because it's wonderful to hear the enthusiasm in his voice. A far cry from the boy he met when Neil first showed up.

"A few," says Neil, nodding a bit. They catch the elevator up to his floor, and Neil stands close enough to Gabriel that their shoulders brush a little bit. It's nice. It's comfortable. He doesn't have to worry about being anyone but himself around Gabriel, and that's quite nice.

"At least the elevator in your building doesn't stall out or get stuck," he says with a little smile. He leans against one of the walls, head lolled so he can look at Neil as they rise. He pushes away only when the doors open.

In that moment, Neil is pretty sure he'd be okay if the elevator got stuck. But it doesn't. The doors slide open quietly, without protest, and they step off. Neil gets to the door and unlocks it, letting Gabriel in.

There's a bit of milling about. Neil sets up the turn table, starts the kettle, then comes back to put on the music. The whole album is good, but Neil puts the needle down at the spot he's learned starts up the song he likes best on it.

It's not an artist he's heard before, but Gabriel smiles as he listens. "Reminds me a little of church," he admits, then he rushes to add, "Not in a bad way. Just-- Well, I don't know if you've ever felt it. A sort of-- a lift, during a service. An elation, I suppose."

He has no idea how to describe it, and trying to just makes him sound silly. Gabriel blushes, and he's grateful when the kettle starts whistling.

"No, I know," Neil says. He's not religious, like he understands Gabriel to be, but he knows that feeling. He feels it a little bit right now, just being alone with Gabriel after such a good night out. He doesn't know how else to describe it.

He gets them mugs and tea bags and quietly asks, "You put anything in yours?"

"Is it black tea or herbal?" he asks as he joins Neil in the kitchen, leaning in the threshold. Since getting to Darrow he's enjoyed quiet a variety of tea, and coffee. Having the choices is kind of nice.

"Herbal. Some fruity thing I grabbed because it was on sale." Neil blushes a little bit, admitting that. Everything's a lot more expensive than he's still gotten used to; sales are great, as far as he's concerned.

"I'll take it as is." He smiles and moves closer so he can take one of the mugs. He lingers close to Neil, maybe closer than he needs to. He thinks of Jake's birthday party, and he thinks of everything Steve has tried to tell him. It makes his head spin and he doesn't know what to think anymore, or what to do or how to be. Darrow's more confusing than Ireland; at least he knew where he stood there.

"I've started a ridiculous collection of tea," he admits. "Just trying all of it."

Neil smiles, grabbing honey to put into his tea. When Gabriel's close, Neil doesn't move. Their arms brush. The music plays on, a gentle warble of background noise as their tea steeps.

"I like it more than coffee," he admits, and laughs a little. "And since I get to buy all my beverages now, I'm going to drink what I like."

"Enjoying that freedom, are we?" Gabriel smiles, because he knows that Neil had been cooped up something awful in the boarding school. At least Gabriel had been able to go home every day; he'd been able to go to parties ad talk to girls.

He sips his tea while Neil adds honey. "How are you getting on at cooking?"

"I'm learning," Neil says with a laugh, shaking his head. "I think my neighbors probably hate me for all the times the smoke alarm has gone off. There's been a lot of Chinese food ordered in."

Gabriel just grins and shrugs one shoulder. "Pizza is my go to," he admits. "Or curry." He holds his mug in both hands, because it's warm and it keeps him reaching toward Neil like he wants to.

He doesn't know how to do this. Doesn't know what is and isn't allowed. He doesn't know if Neil is like Connor, or if he's like Noel, or if he's like neither of them. He's afraid to find out.

"I haven't tried curry yet," Neil says, smiling brightly. "We should try it sometime--or. You should let me try it, with you."

With the girls? Neil is seeing Patricia, he supposes, so maybe they could do another double date. Trying to figure that out makes Neil wish he was back in the dorms, for a moment. More than that, it makes him wish that he felt half as fluttered when he was alone with Patricia as he was just then, just watching Gabriel hold his mug.

"Definitely. There's a place I always order from, and they do dine-in, too." He doesn't mention Sarah, or Patricia, and he doesn't seem keen to. Gabriel brushes his fingers over the handle of the mug, and he tries, desperately, to ignore how warm he feels.

Something in Neil's chest thrills. They've hung out plenty since Neil's been here, but mostly it's been hanging out, privately. There have been a couple of over-nights, but Neil's been doing his best not to put any more stock into that than a glancing thought; Gabriel doesn't ever seem to want to talk about it, so Neil puts it aside.

But that--the offer to go out, to eat together, and just let it be. To not have the pretense of either girl. It thrills in Neil's chest and his cheeks go warm to think of it.

Gabriel takes another sip of his tea, thoughts racing more than he can stand. He moves closer, realizing he can't be subtle there in the kitchen. It's just the two of them, wide awake.

He sets his mug down, leaves one hand pressed to the countertop as he leans closer, uncertain. He stops just sort of a kiss.

The move is slow, uncertain. The kitchen seems so bright, and Neil can make out the detail of Gabriel's flush, of the vague dust of his shaved chin. He breathes, unsteady, and sets his own mug down, angling himself toward Gabriel and tilting his head down a little.

Their lips brush. Neil presses a soft kiss against Gabriel's lips.

Edited 2017-05-15 05:43 (UTC)

Everything in him shivers when Neil's lips brush his. He grips the counter tightly and his other hand flutters, because he has no idea what to do with it. Gabriel closes his eyes and leans into the kiss, feeling like there's permission, like there's something he needs when Neil kisses him first.

Neil's free hand finds Gabriel's, and he guides it to his ribs, settling it there. The touch is neutral, safe. The kiss is quickly anything but. Thoughts of Patricia melt entirely out of his head, and all Neil can think of is the angle of their bodies, the weight and warmth of their closeness.

He swipes his tongue against Gabriel's lower lip.

Gabriel tries to think of Sarah, he does, or Fiona or the last girl to actually get him hard. But he can't. All he can think of is Neil, and his lips, and how warm his ribs feel under his hand. He's never quite realized that Neil is a little taller than him, but kissing him like this, standing up, makes him notice. His fingers curl, clutching Neil's shirt.

Neil sighs a little bit, closes his eyes and just relishes this, their mouths slowly moving against each other, and the occasional, soft coax toward a deeper kiss. He finds himself comparing the few chaste kisses he's given Patricia to this, but then all he can think of is this: Gabriel so close and slightly pliant.

Neil cups his cheeks and lets himself make a soft noise of pleasure against Gabriel's mouth.

He's suddenly, desperately aware of his arousal when Neil makes that sound against his mouth. Gabriel holds tightly to him, like he's trying to pull Neil closer.

"Neil." It comes out as a whisper when they stop long enough to catch their breaths.

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