If you only knew the bad things I like

[asoncalledgabriel]

It was the strangest thing to arrange a double date, but it also felt... blessedly normal somehow. Or like a lie. Gabriel wasn't sure anymore, but he didn't know how to be any other way. So when Neil asked if he'd join him and a girl - Patricia - for a night he'd found someone. A nice enough girl, Sarah, pretty in the way Fiona had been pretty, and met Neil and his girl for a movie and then dinner.

It felt easy enough - the movie had been good and the four of them had plenty to discuss afterward over a meal at a diner. Gabe teased Neil, asking if the place seemed familiar. It looked like the sort of place out of Happy Days or some other American sitcom set in the 1950s.

Afterward, they made sure their girls got home alright, and it was just the two of them again.

Gabriel spun out of the doorway of Sarah's building and leaned his back into the brick wall, grinning over at Neil. "Are you gonna call it a night now?"

Comments

[shadows_have_offended]

Neil smiles, grabbing honey to put into his tea. When Gabriel's close, Neil doesn't move. Their arms brush. The music plays on, a gentle warble of background noise as their tea steeps.

"I like it more than coffee," he admits, and laughs a little. "And since I get to buy all my beverages now, I'm going to drink what I like."

[asoncalledgabriel]

"Enjoying that freedom, are we?" Gabriel smiles, because he knows that Neil had been cooped up something awful in the boarding school. At least Gabriel had been able to go home every day; he'd been able to go to parties ad talk to girls.

He sips his tea while Neil adds honey. "How are you getting on at cooking?"

[shadows_have_offended]

"I'm learning," Neil says with a laugh, shaking his head. "I think my neighbors probably hate me for all the times the smoke alarm has gone off. There's been a lot of Chinese food ordered in."

[asoncalledgabriel]

Gabriel just grins and shrugs one shoulder. "Pizza is my go to," he admits. "Or curry." He holds his mug in both hands, because it's warm and it keeps him reaching toward Neil like he wants to.

He doesn't know how to do this. Doesn't know what is and isn't allowed. He doesn't know if Neil is like Connor, or if he's like Noel, or if he's like neither of them. He's afraid to find out.

[shadows_have_offended]

"I haven't tried curry yet," Neil says, smiling brightly. "We should try it sometime--or. You should let me try it, with you."

With the girls? Neil is seeing Patricia, he supposes, so maybe they could do another double date. Trying to figure that out makes Neil wish he was back in the dorms, for a moment. More than that, it makes him wish that he felt half as fluttered when he was alone with Patricia as he was just then, just watching Gabriel hold his mug.

[asoncalledgabriel]

"Definitely. There's a place I always order from, and they do dine-in, too." He doesn't mention Sarah, or Patricia, and he doesn't seem keen to. Gabriel brushes his fingers over the handle of the mug, and he tries, desperately, to ignore how warm he feels.

[shadows_have_offended]

Something in Neil's chest thrills. They've hung out plenty since Neil's been here, but mostly it's been hanging out, privately. There have been a couple of over-nights, but Neil's been doing his best not to put any more stock into that than a glancing thought; Gabriel doesn't ever seem to want to talk about it, so Neil puts it aside.

But that--the offer to go out, to eat together, and just let it be. To not have the pretense of either girl. It thrills in Neil's chest and his cheeks go warm to think of it.

[asoncalledgabriel]

Gabriel takes another sip of his tea, thoughts racing more than he can stand. He moves closer, realizing he can't be subtle there in the kitchen. It's just the two of them, wide awake.

He sets his mug down, leaves one hand pressed to the countertop as he leans closer, uncertain. He stops just sort of a kiss.

[shadows_have_offended]

The move is slow, uncertain. The kitchen seems so bright, and Neil can make out the detail of Gabriel's flush, of the vague dust of his shaved chin. He breathes, unsteady, and sets his own mug down, angling himself toward Gabriel and tilting his head down a little.

Their lips brush. Neil presses a soft kiss against Gabriel's lips.

[asoncalledgabriel]

Everything in him shivers when Neil's lips brush his. He grips the counter tightly and his other hand flutters, because he has no idea what to do with it. Gabriel closes his eyes and leans into the kiss, feeling like there's permission, like there's something he needs when Neil kisses him first.

[shadows_have_offended]

Neil's free hand finds Gabriel's, and he guides it to his ribs, settling it there. The touch is neutral, safe. The kiss is quickly anything but. Thoughts of Patricia melt entirely out of his head, and all Neil can think of is the angle of their bodies, the weight and warmth of their closeness.

He swipes his tongue against Gabriel's lower lip.

[asoncalledgabriel]

Gabriel tries to think of Sarah, he does, or Fiona or the last girl to actually get him hard. But he can't. All he can think of is Neil, and his lips, and how warm his ribs feel under his hand. He's never quite realized that Neil is a little taller than him, but kissing him like this, standing up, makes him notice. His fingers curl, clutching Neil's shirt.

[shadows_have_offended]

Neil sighs a little bit, closes his eyes and just relishes this, their mouths slowly moving against each other, and the occasional, soft coax toward a deeper kiss. He finds himself comparing the few chaste kisses he's given Patricia to this, but then all he can think of is this: Gabriel so close and slightly pliant.

Neil cups his cheeks and lets himself make a soft noise of pleasure against Gabriel's mouth.

[asoncalledgabriel]

He's suddenly, desperately aware of his arousal when Neil makes that sound against his mouth. Gabriel holds tightly to him, like he's trying to pull Neil closer.

"Neil." It comes out as a whisper when they stop long enough to catch their breaths.

[shadows_have_offended]

Neil tries to chase the kiss, but he pauses when Gabriel speaks. He's very aware of Gabriel, of the little unspoken things, and he worries. He constantly worries.

The shape of Gabriel, through the layers of their clothes, makes Neil worry less.

"Do you want to stay over?" he asks, a husky whisper, licking his lips nervously.

[asoncalledgabriel]

Gabriel nods, because for a moment he doesn't have words. "Yes," he manages, after what feels like far too long. His hands are still holding Neil's shirt, down near the hem.

[shadows_have_offended]

That thrill works through Neil again. He does nothing to dislodge Gabriel's fingers from his shirt, just starts to move. They can stumble together from the kitchen to the bedroom, and almost as soon as they've left the bright glow of the kitchen, Neil is kissing Gabriel again.

[asoncalledgabriel]

Gabriel moves like he's on a cloud and he holds on tight as they move back through the apartment. He knows the way to Neil's bedroom, he doesn't need to look. When he bumps into the bed he tries to control a fall back, not wanting to let go of Neil, not wanting them to be far apart for even a moment.

When he feels Neil's knee hit the bed, Gabriel reaches, grips his thigh to pull him closer, and leans up to kiss him again.

[shadows_have_offended]

It's a bit of a fumble into the bed. Neil doesn't mind. He keeps mind of his knees and thighs, not wanting to slow down or mess this up with a misplaced leg. Gabriel's fingers are hot through his jeans, and he shivers a little. When they're seated, tangled up together, Gabriel's thicker muscles make him the bigger of the two of them. Neil likes that.

They settle. Neil rolls his hips against Gabriel's slightly as they kiss.

[asoncalledgabriel]

He's only felt like this once, fumbling in the dark with that girl, so thrilled by the prospect of being aroused by the right kind of person. That's long forgotten as Neil pushes up against him, grinding against him. Gabriel feels dizzy with want and he keeps his grip on Neil's thigh, the other hand sliding up to hold the back of his neck as they kiss. His own hips strain, urgently pressing up against Neil.

[shadows_have_offended]

Neil's suddenly very glad that they've done this a couple times, but every other time it's been a slow, sleepy thing in the middle of the night. This is all urgent, all aware. They're both wide awake and tangled against each other.

Neil buries a hand into Gabriel's hair. The other one sinks down to Gabriel's stomach, almost to his fly but not quite sure if he can. Even if he really wants to.

[asoncalledgabriel]

Gabriel's breath catches and he lifts his hips toward Neil's hand as it slides down his stomach. He can't quite bring himself to say anything, to encourage more than that, but he wants Neil to know, somehow, that it's okay. He kisses him again, because that suddenly feels safer, and he likes the way Neil is holding his hair.

[shadows_have_offended]

It's just a bit of encouragement, just enough. Neil touches Gabriel's fly, letting out a slow sigh of breath. He kisses Gabriel and slowly opens his jeans. Suddenly, even with all the kisses, even with the handful of times they've exchanged touch, he's nervous.

[asoncalledgabriel]

Gabriel's own nerves flutter intensely to life and for a moment he has no idea what to do with himself. He breaths a sigh of relief when Neil slides his fly down, easing the pressure over his cock. Gabriel can't help it, he reaches down to palm himself through his shorts, nearly trapping Neil's hand.

[shadows_have_offended]

And then things were moving, shifting. They were an anxious tangle of fumbling limbs, mouth touching or almost touching. Neil slips his fingers into Gabriel's underwear and almost sobs; he's flush and hot-skin and slick tip, and Neil's not sure if he's nervous of grateful or both.

He strokes him, gently, slowly, inside the soft cotton of Gabriel's underwear. Even sitting in the dark of the bedroom, it seems somehow too real just yet if he draws him out. There's no rush.