for Anthony (backdated)

[asoncalledgabriel]

Guy's gone.

As soon as Gabriel finds out, he goes looking for Anthony. He tries calling but gets no answer - but, thank Christ, no fuzzy voice telling him the number isn't in service. Still, he can't shake the numb feeling spreading out to his fingertips. He checks familiar haunts and anywhere else he could imagine Anthony being. And when none of those turn up a familiar face, Gabriel heads to the apartment.

He texts on his way there and races up the stairs rather than troubling himself with the elevator.

Gabriel feels a bit bad for the way he pounds on the door.

"Anthony? It's Gabriel."

As if there'd be some other distressed Irish lad banging on his door.

Comments

[flightfromennui]

Gabriel's embrace is warm and frightfully comforting, and Anthony closes his eyes and bows his head. He could collapse under the weight of this loss, and Gabriel would try to catch him. Anthony should feel some comfort in that--except that he isn't sure he could get back up again. It is much less frightening to remain fine (or some facsimile of it) than to allow Guy's departure to overwhelm him.

"I am sorry for that," he says. He can't remember seeing a message from Gabriel in the past few days, but the truth is that he has paid attention to very little. The poor boy could have called Anthony a dozen times, and Anthony could have missed them all.

[asoncalledgabriel]

Gabriel steadies his stance when Anthony leans into him, even if it's only a little. "It's okay." This isn't like the last time Anthony disappeared on him (also Guy-related); the distress is different. Gabriel can't imagine he would be any better if their places were switched.

For a long moment, that's all there is. Everything that crosses his mind just feels inadequate in the face of this.

Finally, he asks, "What can I do?"

Cook, mix drinks, stay right where he is. It doesn't matter.

[flightfromennui]

But there is nothing Gabriel can do; there is nothing anyone can do. Anthony shakes his head and gently extricates himself from Gabriel's arms. He goes to one of the cabinets in the kitchen and takes down a bottle of wine, and then two glasses.

"Drink?"

Perhaps there is something Gabriel can do--he can stay. That way, at least, Anthony will not be left alone with only his thoughts.

[asoncalledgabriel]

"Yeah, thanks."

Gabriel lets Anthony go and lingers by the counter as Anthony chooses a bottle of wine. He's actually surprised the man's not gone for something stronger. He pushes away from the counter to take his glass once it's poured.

He almost toasts to Guy. That's what he'd want, isn't it? Getting fall down drunk seems a fine tribute to Guy Burgess.

Christ, Gabriel will miss him.

[flightfromennui]

Anthony hasn't reached for something stronger--yet. Stubbornly, in the face of his grief, he clings to propriety. It's the sort of thing that would annoy Guy, and that nearly makes Anthony smile.

He lightly clinks his glass against Gabriel's, though if he is thinking of Guy he doesn't stay. "How is Neil holding up?" Neil and Guy were close; it seem like a fair question. And it allows Anthony to talk about someone else's feelings, which is far superior to talking about his own.

[asoncalledgabriel]

"He's a bit rough right now. He's lost someone else, too."

Gabriel feels awful for his friend's current state, but there isn't much he can do to make any of it better. And Neil has Rosie to lean on, he's grateful for that. Maybe Anthony has other people too, but. Gabriel wants to be here for him.

He lets Anthony take another sip of wine before he moves closer and kisses him.