His anxiety is back. Gabriel isn't sure what quite triggered it to get worse. He had a bout with it in the fall, when he kept having visions of Henry in his bathtub, but that's passed and-- He doesn't know what it is. He wouldn't say he's stressed enough at school yet to really make it an issue, yet it hangs on in old habits he's thought he's left behind.

If I hold my breath between here and the door, I'll be on time.

If I miss all the cracks in the sidewalk, nothing bad will happen.

If I love God, I'll be saved.

It's a rush of stupid, ridiculous, obsessive thoughts that he should be past by now. At night it feels the worst, as if he's awaiting some unknown dread every time he gets into bed. He finds excuses to stay with Anthony, and he feels ridiculous for it but at least when he's with someone, it feels a bit better. Listening to someone else breathe, feeling Anthony's hand against his side as he falls asleep.

Tonight, it doesn't help. The nameless terror suddenly has faces, memories attached to it. The attack starts while he's dead asleep next to Anthony, but some time in the late night or early morning, Gabriel shoots upright with a wordless cry, gasping and shaking in the dark. He feels himself crying, and he can't stop that either. And, just like in all those moments before, he can't find his voice.

It's been weeks. Gabriel gave up trying to even text Anthony about a week ago and instead threw himself into final rehearsals for Romeo and Juliet. He's tried not to complain to Neil too much about the sudden absence, mostly because he feels stupid for being so worked up about it in the first place. Especially when Neil mentions that Guy's been in a rough patch.

Of course, Anthony must have been trying to take care of his friend. But-- couldn't he stand to answer a text or a call?

He tries to put it out of his mind come opening night. A few hours before the curtain went up, he'd sent Anthony an offhand text.

R&J tonight, curtain up at 7pm.

After that, he leaves his phone on silent and in his bag as they go through final rehearsals and costume adjustments.

For the most part, characters like Mercutio stay in the same costume with minor changes through the show so the audience doesn't lost track of who is who. Gabriel makes his entrance looking like a fashionable young noble of the period, a little more undone than Romeo's other compatriots - a little more fast and loose, as the character is meant to be. He delivers the Queen Mab speech with a dreamer's mania, and his death is impassioned and hopeless all at once.

After his last scene on stage, Gabriel hangs out of sight in the wings, sneaking looks at the audience when he can. The theater is dark, he can't see very far into it, and he doesn't know why he's bothering to look, anyway. Neil told him he wouldn't be able to make opening night and that he plans to come tomorrow or during the closing weekend. He disappears into the dressing room to take off the stage make up caked on his face. He'll still have to go out bow for the curtain call, but he doesn't need contouring or darkened eyebrows for that.

Gabriel reappears for the curtain call and the full cast bow on stage, all bright smiles and exaggerated gestures. He can hear the announcement inviting the audience to mingle with cast members out in the atrium, where light refreshments are being served by one of the student groups.

All he wants to do is change out of his costume and disappear, but Romeo hooks him around the shoulders and hauls him out to the atrium to socialize.