Love is heavy and light, bright and dark [Dec 8th]

[asoncalledgabriel]

It's been weeks. Gabriel gave up trying to even text Anthony about a week ago and instead threw himself into final rehearsals for Romeo and Juliet. He's tried not to complain to Neil too much about the sudden absence, mostly because he feels stupid for being so worked up about it in the first place. Especially when Neil mentions that Guy's been in a rough patch.

Of course, Anthony must have been trying to take care of his friend. But-- couldn't he stand to answer a text or a call?

He tries to put it out of his mind come opening night. A few hours before the curtain went up, he'd sent Anthony an offhand text.

R&J tonight, curtain up at 7pm.

After that, he leaves his phone on silent and in his bag as they go through final rehearsals and costume adjustments.

For the most part, characters like Mercutio stay in the same costume with minor changes through the show so the audience doesn't lost track of who is who. Gabriel makes his entrance looking like a fashionable young noble of the period, a little more undone than Romeo's other compatriots - a little more fast and loose, as the character is meant to be. He delivers the Queen Mab speech with a dreamer's mania, and his death is impassioned and hopeless all at once.

After his last scene on stage, Gabriel hangs out of sight in the wings, sneaking looks at the audience when he can. The theater is dark, he can't see very far into it, and he doesn't know why he's bothering to look, anyway. Neil told him he wouldn't be able to make opening night and that he plans to come tomorrow or during the closing weekend. He disappears into the dressing room to take off the stage make up caked on his face. He'll still have to go out bow for the curtain call, but he doesn't need contouring or darkened eyebrows for that.

Gabriel reappears for the curtain call and the full cast bow on stage, all bright smiles and exaggerated gestures. He can hear the announcement inviting the audience to mingle with cast members out in the atrium, where light refreshments are being served by one of the student groups.

All he wants to do is change out of his costume and disappear, but Romeo hooks him around the shoulders and hauls him out to the atrium to socialize.

Comments

[flightfromennui]

He knows he should have expected it, but the question still catches Anthony off-guard. The fact of the matter is that he hasn’t very often been asked something like that; his usual liaisons hardly lead to such gentle intimacy as this. He has little practice with it, and even less talent.

Anthony lightly traces the edge of Gabriel’s jaw and smiles a little. “I rather think I did,” he says. making it sound a little like a quip. Who wouldn’t miss this, after all?

[asoncalledgabriel]

The smile that blossoms across his face is soft and sweet. Gabriel tells himself not to be silly, but it's more of a confession than he'd hoped for, really. He tips his head for another kiss, lingering across Anthony's lips for a moment.

"Stay the night?"

It's late enough. Even after the nightmares that plagued him through October stopped, he finds himself rather liking having someone next to him in bed. Especially Anthony.

[flightfromennui]

Anthony almost agrees in his usual, ‘it’s only convenient’ sort of way. But then he remembers Guy.

Guy is probably fine. Guy has been fine for days, or as fine as he could be under these circumstances. Guy would be furious if he knew that Anthony even considered leaving some pretty boy’s bed for his sake. But Anthony cannot quite let go of his worry that he might lose Guy, or his knowledge that he will, someday.

Decision made, he slowly pushes himself up to sit. “Not tonight, I’m afraid."

[asoncalledgabriel]

He hates the sudden hollowness in his chest when Anthony declines. Gabriel sits up, uncertain for a moment in the face of this break from their usual script. Maybe it's just luck that Anthony's stayed before.

He pushes his hair back and tries to summon his voice. "Call me? Or something," he requests, and it feels like the weakest thing he can say just then but he's still at a loss.

[flightfromennui]

Anthony nods in an absent sort of way at first, but he stops himself before he gets out of the bed. He has not entirely missed the lesson of the evening; he supposes he should do something to reassure Gabriel. More than that, he wants to.

He turns to Gabriel and gently takes his chin in his hand as he kisses him. “I will.” A beat. “I have some things to see to tonight." He is disinclined to say what, exactly, when that could lead to sharing more about Guy--and about himself--than he wishes to.

[asoncalledgabriel]

"Just... don't disappear on me again. Or I'll probably do something stupid and regrettable to get your attention. Like talk to Guy."

A smile ticked his mouth but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Gabriel didn't think he'd go that far - more likely just the opposite. He'd get silent and spiteful.

"I like you, Anthony."

He's said it before, and he still means it. Gabriel gives the man another kiss before he pulls away to get out of bed. In an attempt to feel slightly less vulnerable, he put on a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.

[flightfromennui]

God, he is in so much deeper than he ever intended. How did this boy end up so attached to him? More importantly, how the hell did he find himself so attached in return? Gabriel looks at him with real worry that they will never see each other again, and Anthony wants nothing more than to soothe that worry.

It’s utterly ridiculous.

Anthony gathers up his clothes from the floor and puts on his shirt and trousers. Then he catches Gabriel’s hand and tugs him close. “I won’t give you a reason to do anything stupid,” he says wryly. It’s not quite I promise not to disappear, but it’s close.

[asoncalledgabriel]

It's close enough. Gabriel squeezes Anthony's hand. He's absolutely stupid for the man, and he shouldn't be. He should know better, he thinks, than to be so involved with anyone. He brushes his thumb along the back of Anthony's hand and tips his head to get a kiss.

"Come on," he murmurs. "Or I'll start undressing you again."

The least he can do is walk Anthony to the door.

[flightfromennui]

“Don’t tempt me,” Anthony says with a flicker of a smirk. He wonders if Gabriel knows just how easily he might succeed in doing so if he tried. It is probably for the best if he remains ignorant of just how much power he has to sway Anthony Blunt, particularly when he looks so soft and sex-tousled.

Anthony’s brushes his hands through Gabriel’s hair before stepping away to get his coat.

[asoncalledgabriel]

The way Anthony touches him makes Gabriel want to say ridiculous, foolish things. But his pride helps him to hold his tongue. He follows Anthony back through the apartment and kisses him at the door, lingering.

"I'll see you soon," he says like a promise. Somehow, they'll find a reason to spend time together.

[flightfromennui]

Anthony nods, brushing the backs of his fingers on Gabriel’s cheek. And they will see each other soon—Anthony hadn’t actually meant to create the distance between them in the first place, and he doesn’t have the strength to manufacture it now, even if some part of him still believes it would be better if he did.

“Good night,” he says softly, and then leaves.