Part of Gabriel is terrified. This is the part where he leaves, where he prays for forgiveness, where he hates himself. But it's difficult with Neil kissing him like that; he doesn't want to leave, and he doesn't want the horrible, panicked feeling to come. He draws back a little, feeling the little knot in his stomach. The feeling like he's done something terribly wrong.

There's an apology on the tip of his tongue and he doesn't know what to do with it.