Gabriel resists the urge to stick out his tongue or something when Anthony chides him for apologizing. As it is, he takes another drink.

"I still find something beautiful and hopeful in it. And if I can bring myself to believe that God loves me and made no mistake in me, then at least I have that, even if I've no one else."

Maybe it sounds dramatic now, but there had been a time when Gabriel felt so desperately alone in his secrets and in his perceived sins, even in Darrow. Thinking that he might have God's love when he has no one else's is a comfort.